Doctor’s Prescription:Various Views !
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Monthly Archives: June 2012
Obvious mentions ! (By Dr. Sudhir Bhushan)
“The obvious needs no mention” is the kind of remark that will find almost any man willing to vouch for its veracity. Others, in turn, would side with such a man and call him ‘a man of purpose’ for taking this stand. “Only a man without a serious and meaningful thought in his head would exert himself to describe a situation that speaks for itself” is how they would argue to support their decision.
All of which, I intend to prove, goes to show that appearances can be deceptive & conclusions drawn on first thought incorrect. I personally feel that there is often nothing like mentioning the obvious to help a certain situation. I shall venture to make it obvious!
Consider the man who, with a “Hello, nice evening”, tries to strike a conversation with a stranger at a party. For mentioning the obvious thing about the evening he could be accused of casting aspersions over the addressee’s ability to see things for himself. Yet, his remark most often serves admirably to break the ice.
The physician on a morning round of the hospital ward, while telling his patient “You look much better today” could be deemed to imply that the faculty of deriving benefit from a mirror is denied to the latter. Instead, the plain-speaking coupled with the reassuring reflection from the doctor’s face actually makes the patient feel better still.
A cross-examining counsel, thundering theatrically at the hostile eye-witness, often succeeds in winding up the case with a “….. and it is true, is it not, that at the time of shooting you were actually present in the same room, hiding behind the curtain now stained with your blood!”. It is the mention of the obvious, backed by sheer weight of rhetoric, which forces a vivid recapitulation on the guilty mind of the witness and wilts him into admission.
The fatigued husband who returns home from office with a grumbling “I am beat!” on his lips evokes not a reproachful look from his wife for having dog-tired himself but, in fact, gets served promptly with a stimulating cup of coffee. The fact that she would afterwards expect to be taken out to the evening show is not necessarily pertinent!
There can be none like a politician to play the game of obvious to his own advantage. You could trust him to lead the gullible with the air of a man who is telling the obvious.
A paramour whispering “I love you” into his sweetheart’s ear is employing a most unoriginal endearment to speak the obvious. But his sweetheart could be readily made to swear that she finds no other ‘three-words’ sweeter and more precious than these.
And that isn’t all. A ‘thinking’ man of letters, delving into in-apparent nuances of a remark can come up with connotations one would ordinarily ignore. Did you ask if I was attempting to mention an ‘obvious’? Well, you aren’t going to hear me complain of flippancy!
PS: To all my readers, attempting to be nice to me with “Thank you for the wonderful read”, my courteous response: “Mention not (the obvious)!”
PPS: Oh, btw, what’s the ‘most obvious’ fun-remark from you on this article? My answer, if asked the same, would have been: “So you wrote this stuff?”!
Walkman
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman!
I am Dara Singh !
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
Daara Singh, in his hey- day as the World Freestyle Wrestling Champion received an offer to star in his first Bollywood phillum. Along with it came a one way air ticket to Bombay.
An excited Daara reached Palam Airport, all agog to board the plane. As soon as it landed on tarmac, he made a dash for it. A worried attendant cautioned him with a “wait, please!” Daara Singh, with his abundant (mis) understanding of English, heard in his mind “weight, please?” and gleefully blurted out with a puffed up chest: “Two Hundred & Fifty Kg.”!
The air-hostess inside the plane got to know about his star-status and began to drool over & bee around him. Her indulgent “Are you comfortable & ‘relaxing’, Sir?” evoked a “No, I am Daara Singh” from an indignant Daara who chose, nevertheless, to forgive the pretty young thing for what he perceived to be her faux pas!
A little while later, while the plane was airborne, Daara suddenly sneezed and the entire plane shook violently. A thoroughly concerned hostess dashed to his seat with the medicine chest & asked him solicitously, “Are you suffering from cold?”, only to hear him contemptuously reply “No, I am ‘safar ’ing from Delhi to Bombay” !
(In “reverential good-humour” only to a true Indian Idol of his times who ‘safar’ed straight into the hearts of his innumerable fans, his last outing having been in the role of the ‘adorable grandpa’ in JAB WE MET !)
First Class Blonde !
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
CONTINUING IN MY CURRENT VEIN OF BLONDE FASCINATION !!!
A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.
The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
“I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit.”
Blonde logic !
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
A BLONDE BIMBO’S DIARY NOTES :
January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..”duh”…..bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!!
March – Got excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..box said “2-4 years!”
April – Trapped on escalator for hours…..power went out!!!
May – Tried to make Kool-Aid…..8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June – Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August – Got locked out of car in rain storm…..car swamped, because top was down.
September – The capital of California is “C”…..isn’t it???
October – Hate M & M’s…..they are so hard to peel.
November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…..instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December – Couldn’t call 911…..”duh”…..there’s no “eleven” button on the phone!!!
What a year!!
Game of intelligence
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Mr. Swallow Quick
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?”
The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.
“You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.”
The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?”
The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”
Un-necessary !
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
MY FUN-DOCTOR POLITICAL VIEW WISE-CRACK OF THE DAY:
“Un-necessity is the father of all dis-invention; politics,its prime unwanted child!”
AND YES, THIS ENUNCIATION HAS BECOME ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY IN CURRENT TIMES !!!
Old Bottle, Same/New Wine !
(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)
An old man went to Engg. College where he studied at.
He knocked on Room 23 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this
room 30 yrs ago when I studied in this college.”
A young man opened the door & let him in.
The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.
He said: “The same old room, same old wooden table, ventilator & same old
window that opens to the garden & the same old bed”
When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.
Seeing her the old man went bonkers as he exclaimed, “…and the same girl, still not old even after 30 years!” but was brought back to sanity by the girl remarking, “Oh, actually that was my mother ” !