The JoinUs4Cocktail invite by the Illuminati Films (our favorite Saif Ali Khan’s Home production) was hard to ignore. So we (Bhuwan, Harsha & Self) found ourselves at a PVR near us in anticipation of an intoxicating fun treat this Saturday evening.There were no disappointments & this heady mix served crisply by director Homi Adajania lived upto its name.

This breezy RomCom is the story of Gautam, played with elan & verve by Saif Ali, an incorrigible flirt ready to serve on a platter his heart & tool to every PYT (both desi & firang) in London. His life crosses path with poor little lonely rich-bitch Veronica (Deepika Padukone) who has been entwined by fate with Meera (played by debutante Diana Penty), the newly arrived bride from New Delhi & the victim of a hoax marriage let in the lurch in the backstreets of London by hubby Kunal (Randeep Hooda). Meera & Veronica have become best of buddies in a relationship of shared empathy. Soon they are joined by Gautam, enticed by the charms of sexy & wild Veronica at her invite of a live in. The three start a friends-in-fun-and-fervour-staying-under-one-roof  life together. With Gautam & Veronica having a no strings attached agreement, Meera provides the perfect foil as the caring friend looking after them & the household, sort of a housewife with benefits (or ‘without’, depending on how you look at it!). Life is a roller coaster fun-ride for them all at this point. Destiny, however, arriving in the garb of Dimple Kapadia (playing Gautam’s desi mom from New Delhi aiming anxiously to help her son tie the nuptial knot) has arranged for a shift of benefits from Veronica to Meera as Gautam & his equally philandering mamu (Boman Irani at his usual comic best) are forced to mislead mommy Dimple into believing that traditional & sedate Meera, rather than Veronica is the love of his life. A more than sporty Veronica plays along for the sake of friends until, on the shifting sands of time, relationships start becoming murky & love confusing to them all.

What follows is a tale that, after initially seeming to meander when it could have gone many, which ways is finally brought to a heartwarming finale (to all Desis for sure) in which Randeep Hooda’s character resurfaces to play a short but significant role.

The movie, despite being a part successor to the themes of Hum Tum & Love Aaj Kal, has plenty of freshness to it. Co-writer Imtiaz Ali (of Jab We Met & Love Aaj Kal fame) has helped with a script that goes minimalistic on melodrama & is high on fun-n-fizz. Fun dialogues like ‘Everything that’s in the house is on the house’ by the rich-bitch Veronica showing friendly largesse of heart to Meera, ‘Tum lonely ho aur main characterless’ by the ever-errant Gautam trying to explain away his indiscretions to Meera and Boman Irani’s  desperate mime to get scantily clad, barelegged Veronica ( in nothing else but a Gents shirt with hints of a missing panty, in stark contrast to Diana’s conservative character who is true to her name & sticks to her Penty) to respectfully cover her legs for a troubled & watching prospective mom-in-law in Dimple take the humour quotient to a high level! Pritam’s musical score is peppy & soulful, adding hugely to the fizz of cocktail. Angreji Beat & Tumhi Ho Bandhu Sakha Tumhi Ho look poised to become nation’s dance anthems of the season.

In the end, cocktail is a cock-y & fun, mock-tale of love, told well as we Desis like it, whether in London or New Delhi. And although our Desi samaj  may not yet be ready for a no-strings-attached Awesome Threesome friends-with-benefits  treatment to a triangular love tale, the end credits  song “Second Hand Jawani” redeems the ennui of a predictable, mushy outcome with a pointer to what we can yet be (given that we are the erstwhile land of Kamasutra & Vatsyayana) in a fun-frolic way! The lyrical expression of ‘teri band jawaani’ making room partly for ‘teri bhen jawani’ in the song is quite indicative of ‘teri bhen’ fast becoming the metaphor of Bindaas India since the times of Comedy Circus!

INFINITE RECURSION !

By Dr. Sudhir Bhushan ~ Doctor of Humour

Santa asked Banta: “What is infinite recursion?”

Banta: “Ok, what’s the largest number you know?”

Santa: “A Zillion!”

Banta: “Ok, add another very large number to it. What will you add?”

Santa: “A Trillion”

Banta: “Ok, what do you get?”

Santa: “I don’t know what this new number is called”

Banta: “Ok, so let’s give it a new name.Let’s call it TriZillion! Now add another very large number to it. Tell me what number do you get. Give it a new name if you don’t know it.”

Santa: “Ok, I add another Billion. And I call the new number a BiTriZillion.”

Banta makes Santa do this over & over again.The day passes. Then a week. And a month, two & three…..

Santa periodically revives his query: “But what is infinite recursion?”

Banta tells him we are not there yet.

Its end of the year.

Santa protests to Banta: “We have been in this ‘Infinite Recursion’ business for too long. I have been dying to get away from it for a while. And I want us to attend the New Year’s Eve party thrown by my therapist Dr. Sudhir Bhushan (literally ‘Jewel of Virtuous Patience’) who is always there to patiently humour me. Now when will our business together end?”

Santa: “Infinity, I am told, is a never ending business. We are hung up on it already and I am trying to figure out the ‘recursion’ angle. You haven’t yet come up with a number large enough to inspire me for a recursion because I can see there are more ‘BiT’s to pick up. You need to think outside the box but you are so inside it still. So don’t ask for a cop-out now that you’re in the business. You could have refrained from starting this whole thing in the beginning itself if you were going to be so tired in less than a year”

Banta (with a tinge of exasperation mixed with diffidence): “Actually my vocabulary for numbers hasn’t gone very far beyond just a ‘BiTriBiTriBiTriBiTri………………………………………………..Zillion’ this year. And remember we started this business only on the First of April which gave us just nine months. Anyway, let’s take a break now to be refreshed at Doctor of Humour’s New Year Party.”

Santa & Banta looked somewhat glum at the party because of their unfinished business that seemed ever-unfinishable.

However, they were cheered up by Doctor of Humour saying that if they decided to start all over again next morning with an initial ZILLION, not only will they have full 12 (their characteristic number) months during the year to make better progress, the very act of indefatigably starting all over will be an example of “Infinite Recursion” and an answer to their initial query even as they began!

PS: And that, interestingly, is pretty much the story of our lives until we decide to get out of the loop!

CHEERS!!!

PPS: Since Santa & Banta started their ‘Infinite Recursion’ business on First April, while remaining stuck on ‘infinite’ & being unable to get to a ‘recursion’ till year end, the joke is on them!

PPPS: Since I, too, started Humour Medicine on First April this year, the joke is on me as well but only as in ‘the treat is on me’! Glad to be of service in getting you out of the loop, if I did that!