Confidentially confident !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS OF RELATIONSHIPS!

Kid: “Mom, what is the difference between confident & confidential?”

Mom: “I am your Mom, I am confident but who is your Dad is confidential” !

A good reason to be “I AM THAT I AM” !

http://www.gagism.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/lbkhv1.jpg

Its a Ball Game!

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

This analogy makes perfect sense!

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your fixation on balls become.

Therefore, one might conclude, there must be a ton of people in NEW DELHI and NEW YORK obsessed with playing marbles!

(PS: I love playing sub-atomic micro-mini marbles!!!)

The Round Truth about Girls!

Forgetfully yours!

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

An old couple in their 80s were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked up to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor’s clinic, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking them up, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?” He replied, “To the kitchen.” She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” He replied, “Sure.” She then asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” He said, “No, I can remember that.”

She then said, “Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you’ll forget that.” He said, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” She replied, “Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.”

With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that.” He then fumed his way into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: “I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!”


Math – Mated by MATHMATICS !

Doctored Movie Titles !

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

Agar  Doctor  log  Bollywood  Films  banana shuru  kar  dein  to  unke  titles  honge:

Hum Blood De Chuke Sanam

Mere Yaar Ki Endoscopy Hai

Kaho Na Diabetes Hai

Kash Aap Hamari Patient Hoti

Pregnant Banaya Apne

Paralysed Ho Na Ho

Kabhi  ICU  Kabhi  CCU

Hamara Stethoscope Aapke Paas Hai

Operation To Hona Hi Tha

Phir Haddi Fracture

Hypertension For You

Om Surgery Om !

Inverted Logic or Reverse Polarity?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER:Neither!  It’s just that you are looking at a ‘Floor Fan’ rather than a ‘Ceiling Fan’!

Bird without Strings!

Bad conductor

(Did you know “A joke a day keeps the doctor away”? Unless he happens to be your fun-Doctor, in which case enhanced empathy with him is the outcome!)

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it’s Texas he’s sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
“Well” says the man, “is that your packed lunch over there?” “Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he’s eaten it. When the man’s finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can’t believe it.
“Can I go?” the man asks. “I suppose so” says the executioner, “that’s never happened before.”
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. “What is your final wish?” asks the executioner. “Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?” says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can’t believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
“What’s your final wish ?” asks the executioner. “Well” says the man, “Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?” The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
“I give up” says the executioner, “I don’t understand how you
can still be alive after all that?”. He stroked his chin. “It’s something to do with that green banana isn’t it” he asked.
“Naah” said the bloke,
“I’m just a really bad conductor”