Taste of Bhrasht-Achaar !
By Dr. Sudhir Bhushan ~ Doctor of Humour

Recently  a friend of mine with whom I have a Santa-n-Banta style fun-bantering relationship asked me, “Anna’s movement against Corruption seems to be fizzling out again! Kya is ‘Bhrastachar’ ko kuch le de kar band nahin karwaya ja sakta?”.

To which, the fun-doctor in me replied , “Why not? After all Anna bhi to is Bhrasht Achaar ke lene or dene walon ko band karwana chaahte hain!” (http://www.humourmedicine.com/mehul-n-me-fun-maska-v-4/)

But we have all been a somewhat disappointed witness to the lame & longish ‘interval-halt’ to this mov(i)ement against Bhrashtachar by Headmaster Anna that had proved to be a huge hit with the masses last year in its first Avatar. The interest in the subject was sought to be kept alive by the parallel cinema of Baba Ramdev, which had not fared so well in its ‘Jism1’ last year but managed to become a marginally better hit this year by allowing predators (for that’s what ‘opposition’ always is to the ‘ruling’) to ride on its ‘Jism2’!

But the big question on everyone’s mind now is where do we go from here? And what’s going to happen to our tasty national Achaar, foolishly termed Bhrasht by those who don’t realize that an Achaar can get better (instead of bhrasht) with time by the frequent supplementation of ‘(mustard)oil is well’ to it!

The newspaper headlines this morning brought a fresh breezy breath of ‘Coalgate’ to refresh our stale mouths that had been the overnight ‘Achaar-akhaada’ to the many varieties of resident oral microbes. With this, our mouths have begun to wag in twisted tongues and our national appetiser-carminative-digestant Bhrasht Achaar has once again become the tasty ‘toast of the town’!

Here is a pick of the choicest pickle samplings from Twitter today:

PM’s Dilemma : “MumMum-Main COALGATE ToothPaste Se Brush Kiyaa Aur mereTEETH Jet Black Hogaye -HAINN !- Chonia se Poochtaa hoon-Gursharan Tu Himmat Rakh. OK” by Paramjit S Garewal ‏@ParamjitGarewal  

A Citizen’s Dilemma : “Thought only Salt was there in toothpaste #colgate but just found out that there is #Coal too in #Coalgate….One whitens the other blackens” by ‘Ushy Mohan Das ‏@UshyMohanDas’ (helpful hint for Ushy’s dilemma: “This, too, is a scam to keep the toothpaste companies in perpetual business!”)

A Comic Relief to our Collective Pain : “Colgate : Fast relief from the pain of sensitive tooth. #Coalgate : Fast relief from the gain of insensitive loot.” by  ‘Comedy Central India@ComedyCentralIn’

The Cry of the Cost Conscious : “Rs 1.86 lakh crores is mighty expensive for a toothpaste called #Coalgate :)” by ‘VerseCannon ‏@VerseCannon’  

The Excuse of the Datun Lover : ”Don’t feel like brushing after reading about the COALGATE scam! #shameUPA”  by ‘vikram sathaye ‏@vikramsathaye’

The Mirch Masaala of the Oral Sensorial : “Government to sell title sponsorships for scams; Vodafone 2G scam, Colgate Coal scam etc. http://www.fakingnews.com/2012/05/government-to-sell-title-sponsorships-for-various-scams/ #oldpost #coalgate” by ‘Faking News ‏@fakingnews’

The Arithmetic of the Record Keeper : “Will Congress beat its own record again? 1.76 lakhs (of 2G Scam) put to second place by 1.86 lakhs of  #CoalGate” by ‘Against_Pseudos ‏@Against_Pseudos’

The Announcement of the Corrupt (E)Umpire : “MMS (Man Mohan Singh) sets new WR (World Record) in Corruption by a small margin, Karuna & Raja muttering in anger.” Narayan ‏@Narainised

The Latest Chant of the Bhrasht-achaari : “Jai Gurudev! Saluting His Holiness of Corrupt #India #coalgate”  by Amarendra Srivastava ‏@amarsrivastava

The Frustration of the Uninvited Baarati : “After 2G now it is Coalgate. What is happening to the country? Sarkar hai ya Choron ki Baraat hai?” by Prakash Singh ‏@singh_prakash

The Call of the Devil-May-Care : “Dil coal ke looto. #coalgate” by  MP Singh ‏@NotThatMP

And finally my Dentally/Politically Correct Call to the PM : “Open your mouth properly, Mr. Clean” !!!